Funny Dogs Do Crazy Things Video

Dog Rules

Dog Rules

1. The dog is not allowed in the house.

2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.

4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.

5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.

6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.

8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only

9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.

10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

Doggy Dictionary Joke

Doggie Dictionary

LEASH:

A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person

where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:

Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or

the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:

Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this

properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool

fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:

A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN:

A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:

Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To

get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:

This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER:

This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain

amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET:

This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house

until your owner comes home.

SOFAS:

Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up

and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:

This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and

themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN:

Every good dog’s response to the command "sit!", especially if your person

is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie

events.

BUMP:

The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh

cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP:

A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the

attention you require... especially effective when combined with The Sniff.

See above.

LOVE:

Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.

The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a

human will love you in return.